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Your SCP Foundation Dream Job!

 

It’s Tough job market .

It feels like everyone is either being laid off, furloughed, stuck in a dead-end position

at a job with no prospects of career advancement, or working multiple jobs just to meet the

bills every month, as you’re slowly driven into the ground.

If only somewhere new was hiring. Somewhere exciting.

Somewhere where every day is an adventure and you never truly know what you can expect.

Well, lucky for you, there is such a place.

It’s the SCP Foundation, and after a recent high-casualty SCP-682 breach, they have plenty

of new positions open for go-getters just like you!

That’s why we put out a post on our community page asking for the job at the SCP Foundation

you think you’d be best at, and your reasons for why.

And today, we’re going to evaluate your answers, and see who’s up to the task!

Let’s go.

Javier Gomez de Lara Santos said, “I don't know if it counts, but being on the part of

relocating safe SCP that are "rehabilitated" such as SCP-2273 would be a very wholesome

experience to see them enjoying human company once more ( other than doctors and security

officers ) and you could get some new extraordinary friendships such as Alexei Belitrov had with

his psychiatrist.”

We thought we’d start this video off on a nice wholesome one.

In any kind of Broken Veil scenario, it’s natural that some of the nicer anomalies,

like Belitrov, the Reluctant Dimension Hopper, and the Abdominal Planet guy would be released

back into civilian life.

Of course, to get a job helping this happen, much like Alexei Belitrov’s psychiatrist,

you’d likely need to be qualified in social work, psychology, or psychiatry.

But it’s probably one of the more fulfilling jobs you can get with the Foundation.

Geologyhill123 said, “Having an MA in history, I can see myself working as a researcher into

ancient anomalies and finding their cultural origins.

Plotting the Aristocrats family tree - although knowing the Habsburg lineage it's more of

a shrub - would be fascinating!

The wanderer’s library sounds like a dream come true as well.”

Ah, now this is a fun one.

Seeing as anomalies can manifest in everything from ancient ruins like SCP-2621 to extinct

cultures like the Daevites to twisted family lines like The Aristocrats, taking a historical

approach to exploring SCPs is definitely a valuable job, and one perfectly suited to

people with a background in history.

Just be careful with some of those ancient texts.

Reading the wrong ones might lead to certain strange mental and physical changes…

Suicunefan123 said, “I’d love to work in virology within the foundation, specifically  

writing the reports for the more math-minded folks in the field.

In my experience, they need the help!

Ensuring reports are clear, concise, and useful would be my ideal placement.

Dream job in reality, too…”

Virology is an undeniably useful skill for work at the SCP Foundation, given the number

of terrifying viruses they deal with, like the incurable contagious zombie virus, SCP-008,

the Sarkic nightmare that is SCP-610, the Flesh that Hates, or the considerably more

technological infection, SCP-217, the Clockwork Virus.

And hey, somebody needs to write those reports!

Drew Sklar said, “As an engineer, I feel like doing researching and development for containment procedures would be so interesting.

The conditions a cell has to meet vary so much between SCPs, and each one is so strange

and interesting that it feels like a puzzle.”

Containment specialists are a vital part of the operations of the SCP Foundation, considering

that containment is one of their core principles.

It’s an exciting and intellectually stimulating job, but there’s also a lot of pressure

involved.

Knowing, if you don’t do your job right, you could be responsible for a breach that

leads to a huge number of deaths for your fellow personnel, the civilian world, and

potentially even you.  

We’re sure you’ll do fine, though.

No need to stress…

Celi Phon said, “Personally, I'd want to work in amnestics.

You don't have to interact with dangerous anomalies, just your fellow foundation coworkers.  

I doubt the job is anywhere near as insane as research staff or mtf.

Being a foundation middle(wo)man suits me just fine.

In with the Class A/B amnestic and out with the cognitohazard my friends!”

That’s a great attitude!

And honestly, there are a lot of benefits to working directly with amnestics.

Fun fact: Every time we have a video that underperforms, we release an amnestic gas

onto our audience, and release it again later.

Who knows how many times you’ve listened to the sentence you’re listening to right  

now?

Moving on.

Tim West said, “I would go with where my experience helps me excel at the most.

I've been working as a PSO (protective service officer) for the Department of Homeland

for some years now, I also worked as an armed bouncer.

Was trained in the use of force, defensive tactics, training with firearms, long guns,

and unarmed combat.

Also trained for bomb detection and use of magnetometer's.

For the SCP Foundation, I would apply for the security division.”

Well, Tim, you seem pretty much perfectly qualified for the job.

When can you start?

No, seriously, can you start right now?

SCP-106 just got out again and we really need a hand getting him back under control.  

It’s an all-hands-on-deck situation.

Oh no, he’s coming through the wall, oh god--

Grand-Admiral Batch said, “I’d go for Containment Specialist, Occult Section, as

I am very well versed in the occult.

As to where I’d exceed others, probably when it comes to rituals, as I have an interest

in them and know a lot about them, including some, let’s say, practical experience.”

Huh…

Are we allowed to ask follow-up questions?

Because I’m now really, really curious about your occult experience, Grand-Admiral Batch.

We’ll dispatch a field agent shortly.  

but if there was a job for deciding who/what gets sent where for testing, I would do that.

I could do cross-testing as well as just having the ability to have my worst enemies killed

by an SCP.”  

See, applications like this are why we do background checks, Meta Man.

You need to ascend to the level of O5 Council before you can start using anomalies to belligerently

assassinate your enemies without consequences.

Doing it on any level below that is more than likely to get you into some serious trouble

with your Site Director.

MissingNo.

Said, “I’m proficient with firearms, and have been refurbishing weapons and doing some

pretty decent gunsmithing for parts that I need/need fixed up for the past 10 years.

I’d have an undying loyalty to the foundation, and maybe have a chance to work with some

of that fancy anomalous weaponry, or just a hired MTF guard.

(The first would be fun.)

Or I could just be Dr. Bright’s newest body, or fodder for 682.

Whatever works.” Well, we appreciate the fact that you’re giving yourself a wide range of options here - Especially considering that being a vessel for Dr. Bright or fodder for SCP-682 has a very low barrier to entry. But hey, considering that MTF operatives are often killed in the line of duty, it’s likely that a position will be open for you if you can prove yourself.

EllisBellis13 said, “I think I would be a researcher trying to understand anomalies

who seemingly break the laws of physics and the universe.

I am studying math and physics and currently doing my bachelor’s thesis on quantum bits.

By understanding the physics allowing the anomalies to behave anomalously, we could

utilize the knowledge to develop new cool technologies.”

We like your style, Ellis.

We need people like you on the team.

Just make sure that while developing this new physics-bending technology, you don’t

wind up trapping yourself in the Red Reality.  

But hey, at least you’d be able to keep Dr. Scranton company.

Eric Back said, “I'd love to work with the technical side of the whole foundation, could

be anything from IT to constructing the containments used on SCP's.”

Yes!

Please!

You could act as a replacement for Technical Director Rosen.

Seriously, he’s utterly unbearable.

Krizia said, “Would probably be in MTF Mu-13 (Ghostbusters).

I have always been fascinated with the supernatural- that, and my sensitivity to the paranormal

and seemingly paranormal would definitely make me a valuable asset to the team.”

You seem like a great fit for the team.

We just hope that Ghost-busting makes you feel good.

PsychoCobra Gaming said, “Having a background in Psychiatry, I immediately go to the idea

that all of the stress and threat of constant death would really weigh on the mind of the

employees. I’m not sure if The Foundation has a psychiatric department but if I could spearhead the creation of one, then that would also give room to climb up the hierarchy of The Foundation.

I’m sure Dr. Bright must have PTSD from his several deaths and the 05 Council must

have some form of mental anguish from their centuries of life.”

Oh yeah, we imagine it’d indicate that something is very wrong if a seasoned Foundation employee

doesn’t have a little PTSD on the books.

The scary thing is, with some of the poor folks at the SCP Foundation, them recounting

their days might give their therapists PTSD.

Stonewood Studios said, “Some kind of mechanical engineering profession.

Just being able to observe anomalous tech would be incredible.

I'd love to try to discern how 914 works, or spend my days trying to understand the

functionality of the numerous remnants of the Broken God.”

This seems like a good application of your interests and skills.

And if you want to be even better at engineering, why not put yourself into the SCP-914 chamber

and set it to Very Fine.

Just to see what happens, you know?

It’s a fun time.

Frank Official said, “Honestly even just being a janitor would satisfy me, there’s

this sense of dread knowing some sort of dangerous thing could break out at any moment.

Really does get your blood pumping.”

It’s a bold choice, honestly.

All the danger and stress of working for the SCP Foundation, without any of the clearance,

pay, or prestige.

You’re playing 5D Chess.

Minty said, “I'd like to be part of some kind of Foundation reintegration program where

the SCPs are taught to control their powers and just get used to being less deadly, so they could re-enter human society. I just feel bad for the SCPs, being essentially put in cages.

Some of them need a hug.

Barring that, I'd just sign up for the Serpent's Hand.”

Considering the SCP Foundation can be a little…

Cold, towards the anomalies, you may eventually find yourself becoming disheartened towards

the Foundation and its practices.

At this point, yes, it seems likely that allegiance with the Serpent’s Hand would be a pretty

appealing prospect for you.

Cat and Otter said, “I would enjoy some good old low-risk humanoids.

Have a nice chat with them, maybe go a round of tennis with Cain, Iris, and Mr. Fish.”

It would indeed be nice to chat with some low-risk humanoids.

Be warned about Mr. Fish, though, he’s been known to be a little salty on occasion.

Pikeshades said, “I suppose I would like to work as an archivist in a records room

cataloging anomalies and updating files.

I do that mostly in my IRL job, while also turning old w

ord document manuals into educational

videos.

So I could probably also collaborate with doctors and researchers in how to make training  

videos for new D-Classes and MFTs in how to deal and approach certain SCPs and/or rival organizations.”

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